


Etched in Stone

by Emptylester (timelordangel)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Parent!fic, Sad, sad i tag with tears streaming down my face
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 04:19:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10481928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelordangel/pseuds/Emptylester
Summary: Short little family fic! Dan takes their son to go surprise Phil.





	

“Hey, little man, come on,” Dan grins, trying to still Jude as he attempts to unzip his jacket. 

“I’m a marshmallow!” Jude squeals, giggling and spinning around in the mud room. 

“Listen, if you stay calm for nana and grandpa we can stop by McDonalds before we visit papa, okay?” Dan says softly, attempting to quell the laughter in his voice so his son will take him seriously. 

But that’s Phil’s job, so Dan dissolves into giggles and ends up chasing Jude through the house making monster noises.

“I only eat marshmallows!” Dan roars, eliciting a shriek from the lounge.

“I’m human!” Jude dives behind the couch.

“You look like a marshmallow to me!” Dan creeps up to the couch, jumping on it and peering over the back.

Jude is struggling with the zipper, fear sparkling in his 8 year-old eyes. When he sees Dan peering over him, he yelps and works the zipper harder. “Daddy, no!” 

“Hey, don’t break it,” Dan grins, reaching down and tugging the tipper down. The doorbell rings and Jude shrugs off the coat immediately and jumps to his feet, taking off in the direction of the door. “Wait- I-“ Dan gives up, falling back onto the couch.

Catherine gives Dan a tight hug before picking Jude up and cooing over how big he’s gotten. Dan grins and shakes Mr. Lester’s hand. 

“We just came by to drop by dinner for you and Jude- I know you’ve been busy lately,” Catherine is picking up toys in the lounge because her motherly instincts are more intact at 58 than Dan’s are at 38. 

“We’re okay, mom-“ because mother-in-law never felt right on his tongue, “I promise.”

Dale doesn’t say much, nor does he have to.

They give Jude way too many sweets and leave a week’s worth of frozen dinners in the freezer. Dan rolls his eyes and thanks them a hundred times before they’re off again.

“You sure you don’t want us to watch Jude?” She lingers at the door, her hand on Dan’s arm.

“No, Phil wouldn’t be happy if I showed up without him. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Dan says kindly, but firmly.

When they’re gone, Dan looks around for Jude.

“What did nana give you?” Dan smiles as he sits on the couch beside his son.

“It’s a photo album,” Jude hands it over, “just you and papa and me as a baby.”

“Pretty boring toy, right?” Dan teases, running a hand over the top of the album. 

“I’ll save it for when I’m older and forget about being a baby,” Jude shrugs, “Can we go visit papa now?”

“Yeah, let’s take the album to show him, even if it’s a bit boring,” Dan says.

“You guys are old, you like boring,” Jude cackles, retrieving his jacket from behind the couch.

They get into Dan’s car and Jude proudly buckles himself into his booster seat. 

Dan stops by McDonalds because he’s been working on keeping his promise-bribes these days. And, after all, Jude was really good for his grandparents.

He’s a really good kid, Dan thinks as he looks in the rearview mirror. Pride settles over him and fills his chest with a good kind of congestion. 

When they arrive, his car rolls over the gravel lot and Jude squeals at the way the car bumps. Dan steps out of the car and wonders if Jude really even needed the jacket- it’s the warmest day they’ve had in weeks, maybe months.

“Daddy, can I bring my French fries?” Jude asks as he lets Dan unbuckle him.

“Sure, but one or two might get stolen,” Dan laughs, locking the car behind them.

“I don’t mind,” Jude grins back, and Dan can’t help but think again that he’s such a good kid.

They hold hands until they reach the end of a dirt path. Dan reluctantly lets go of Jude and sits down on the grass; he shuts his eyes. For a second all he wants to do is lie back and take a nap.

“Papa,” Jude says quietly and for a second Dan thinks he’s talking to him. 

Phil is here now; he’s picking Jude up the way his own mom did not an hour ago- Jude is clinging to him and burying his face the way he only does to his dads.  
Dan waits for the squeal of joy that never arrives, because when Dan forces his own eyes open, he’s met with his kid and a headstone.

“I miss you, Papa,” Jude continues, “We saw nana and grandpa today. I get to take home the class fish next week! He’s a beta fish named Greg.” 

Dan wants to laugh at the name of the fish, but his heart is lodged somewhere between his esophagus and his mouth. 

“Daddy says I’m not allowed to have my DS5 for a week because I got a bad mark on my maths test. If you think that’s unfair too, please tell him. I think that’s all, I love you papa,” Jude gives a little sitting-bow to the headstone and turns back to Dan. “Was that good?”

“Yeah, bear,” Dan forces a smile, desperately holding back tears, “that was great. I’m sure he loved hearing from you. Could you let me have a private moment with him?”

“Yeah,” Jude nods, standing and darting off towards a particularly climb-able tree nearby with his French fries in tow.

Dan takes a steadying breath and returns his eyes to the headstone.

“Hey, Phil,” He begins. 

It always takes a minute. It’s been three years to the day and it still always takes a minute.

“I miss you,” Dan laughs wetly, his eyes flickering up to the sky as he tries to keep the tears down. “I know Jude told you, but your parents came by today. They worry about us all the time- no matter how happy I act. I am happy, I promise, just not today.”

He turns and watches Jude attempting to climb the tree.

“Jude isn’t doing well in maths. He got less than half right on his multiples. You were the one that was supposed to teach him this stuff; I don’t know what I’m doing,” Dan buries his head in his hands. “I love being a dad, but I miss being a dad with you. I feel like I’m all alone here and I just-“ Dan’s voice cracks as a sob escapes his chest. “I miss you Phil, so goddamn much.” 

“I don’t want to re-marry, I don’t want Jude to have another parent. I just want you to come back, please,” Dan doesn’t bother stopping the tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’ve never brought Jude here alone, I’ve never asked him to talk to you. But this time he wanted to and it hurt more than I thought it would.”

There’s a beat of silence where Dan composes himself. “Your mum gave Jude a photo album of us in 2025. Jude was barely three and you’re… you’re there. The last pictures were from a month before the accident,” Dan is holding the photo album and running a hand over the third page from the end.

It’s the three of them on some ridiculous kid ride at the carnival. Jude didn’t want to go alone so he’s squished in the middle of them, grinning like he’s the happiest kid in the world. Phil is throwing his head back laughing, and Dan is grinning mid eye-roll. 

Dan didn’t even realize Catherine had taken the photo. They were so happy, and they had no idea.

Dan looks down at his own shoulder- the one Phil is touching in the picture. Sometimes he forgets that Phil was here at one point and they did these things together. According to biology, every cell in your body is replaced after seven years.

He’s got four more until Phil will have never touched him at all.

Jude returns and Dan kisses him on the forehead, and then kisses the top of the headstone. 

“I love you both. Come on, let’s go home,” Dan knows if left to his own devices he might stay here forever. Not that this headstone is where he feels Phil the most, anyway.

He feels Phil the most in the middle of the night on those stupid checkered sheets he’s had for far too many years. He feels Phil in the kitchen of their house when he accidentally leaves a cupboard open- or when their kid laughs with a little tongue sticking out.

He makes sure to call Catherine after he gets home and puts Jude to bed. They cry together, because for the past twenty years the Lesters – Phil, his parents, and now his kid- have been consistently the best parts of his life. 

Dan falls asleep in their bed with the photo album on the sheets.

Dan looks at the pictures of his husband and son, and wishes Phil and Jude could be asleep beside him- too many people in a bed meant for two. 

But tonight, it will be a bed for one.


End file.
